There's almost nothing that drives more internet outrage and ALL CAPS comments than a story about some dickwad interfering with the way other dickwads raise their insufferable, asshole children. A news story about a man slapping someone else's kid would be Facebook gold, so, because Facebook Gold is now the world's dominant reserve currency, NBC just took a fictional one and turned it into a miniseries.

"Whose side are you on?" asks the trailer for The Slap, adding an implied "Sound off in the comments!"

The sides you can take, according to the trailer, are Parents Who Let Their Jerk Kid Do Whatever He Wants (Melissa George and Don from The Newsroom) and The Kind of Guy Who Slaps Someone Else's Out of Control Kid (Zachary Quinto and Zachary Quinto's eyebrows).

The man-slaps-kid story, based on a 2008 novel by Greek-Australian writer Christos Tsiolkas, will grapple for seven looooong episodes with the question of whether man should have slapped kid. Or, indeed, whether man should ever slap kid, a question on which local newspaper website commenters have shockingly failed to reach a consensus after years of reasoned debate.

Making an intentionally divisive story even more binary, Quinto's character (at least in the novel) is a successful, conservative, capitalist business bro, while the parents of the slapped child are liberal hippies who still breastfeed their kid at age 4. Which stereotype's side are you on?

You have until February 12 to decide. But why wait even that long? The YouTube comments on the trailer are already open, and Decision 2015 is underway. Will the next President of America be Hitting An Unruly Child or Not Hitting an Unruly Child? Cast your comment now. It absolutely does not matter.

[h/t Uproxx]