“Season 11, Week 6: Dublin, Ireland”: A Bachelorette episode which will live in infamy.

Last night’s Bachelorette episode featured the end of the made-up gay bachelors plot, the return of super-villain Nick Viall, and the group date we’ve all been waiting for: the rap battle.

Last night, on the season premiere of The Bachelorette, contestant “Ryan M.” played the role of wasted, chauvinistic pig at the opening cocktail party—slamming Fireball, yelling about being “horned up,” and even smacking Bachelorette Kaitlyn on the ass. Where’d the producers find this guy?

The day we (ME) have all been waiting for is here: ABC has released photos and biographies of the contestants on the upcoming season of The Bachelorette. While the portraits are veerryyyy sexy—in a Hapsburg-y sort of way; ladies you love it—the bios will really get your heart racing.

Sean Penn appeared on Jimmy Kimmel Live! last night to promote his relationship with Charlize Theron. There, he asked Jimmy Kimmel, "Britt or Kaitlyn?" —Whaaat? Sean Penn watches The Bachelor? Sean Penn—the serious film actor? You gotta be kidding me!

Breaking: hardworking Atlanta assistant D.A. and Bachelorette star Andi Dorfman has ended her engagement to male labrador and former minor league baseball player Josh Murray, whom she met on the show. Many are shocked, as the couple was just seen arm-in-arm on The Bachelor red carpet Monday.

It's the summer of 2014 in America and I have no idea how I have watched almost the entire 10th season of The Bachelorette because it is just SO OBVIOUS that Andi loves Josh and most of her other favorites are gross.

Oh shit. Eric revealed that he is an ex-Mormon and THEN got kind of aggressive about Andi's alleged fakeness in front of the cameras and THEN she got really offended and eliminated him and THEN he was tragically killed in a paragliding accident. So, um, no rose ceremony tonight.

If I were Bachelorette Andi Dorfman, I for sure would have dumped this cast of losers and eloped with the big guy from Boyz II Men the moment he instructed me IN SONG to throw my clothes (throw my clothes) on the floor (on the floor). Sorry, Pantsapreneur.

This week on The Bachelorette, Andi learns a very valuable lesson about how, sometimes, the guy who's been constantly drinking in the house might have an alcohol problem. Also, is Eric the perfect man? The answer might surprise you. (No it won't. The answer is "yes.")

The Bachelorette has now been on for ten glorious (?) seasons. Let's give it a round of applause everyone. Confession time: I have never watched an episode prior to this, and my only real knowledge of the franchise comes from being a youth in the Trista and Ryan era and the existence of Burning Love. So I really had no idea what to expect going into this.