Who says you need a cock to crow? Here's a mashup we did using the instantly notorious ass-eating scene from the Season 4 premiere of Girls and audio from Allison Williams's embarrassing turn in Peter Pan Live.

Lots of great stuff happening on HBO tonight. Who knew?

Good God. NBC's live production of Peter Pan was not at all what we had hoped for: Props falling, props falling on Allison Williams or Christopher Walken, someone forgetting their lines and doing an Ashlee Simpson jig. No, instead we were forced to endure a three-hour college musical theater show whose dullness was punctuated with impressive gayness.

We thought the day might never come, but here we are: It's December 4, the Lord's Year Two-Thousand and Fourteen, and NBC's live production of Peter Pan starring broken facial expression Allison "Hate-Watch" Williams is upon us. Join us as we gander at this slowly-unspooling catastrophe. Share in the hate, justify your love, and tell us everything you're feeling.

Allison Williams, who normally plays a total Marnie on Girls, knows how you're going to watch Peter Pan on NBC Dec. 4 (hate-watch, duh) and she wants you to know: don't! Allison Williams, please do not tell me what to do.

NBC's live production of beloved children's story Peter Pan, starring Brian Williams' daughter, is almost here! December 4 will be the greatest day of your miserable goddamn life as Allison Williams flies across the screen with distracting wires shooting out of her like she's a strung up, dead fish.