The day we (ME) have all been waiting for is here: ABC has released photos and biographies of the contestants on the upcoming season of The Bachelorette. While the portraits are veerryyyy sexy—in a Hapsburg-y sort of way; ladies you love it—the bios will really get your heart racing.

I’ve categorized our hopefuls below into groups like “Horny Guys,” “Alert: Very Horny,” “Romantics,” and so on for your convenience. Please vote for your favorite in the comments section.

Horny Guys

If you could be someone else for just one day, who would it be?

“Play an NFL game in Tom Brady’s shoes. Get a taste of what a primetime football game would be like—then go home to Gisele.” — Bradley, 25

Do you consider yourself a romantic?

“Yes! Because I try to always listen and attend to a woman’s needs. Not just in the bedroom, but all around. That can be very romantic to the right woman.” — Jonathan, 33

“Occupation: Real estate agent” — David, 26

If you could be someone else for just one day, who would it be?

“Seth MacFarlane—so talented.” — Ryan B, 32

Alert: Very Horny

“Occupation: Amateur Sex Coach” — Shawn E, 31

“Favorite holiday: Valentine’s Day” — Shawn E, 31

Describe your idea of the ultimate date.

“My ultimate date would be doing something very exciting during daylight hours, something that required us to be strong together (skydiving, etc.), followed by a romantic dinner — maybe a bonfire on a beach, swimming in the ocean, or hot tub or bath together. Embracing and loving until sunrise.” — Shawn E, 31

Guys Who Respect Women

“Biggest date fear: My date being dishonest and manipulative” — Daniel, 28

If you could be any superhero, which one would you be?

“The Invisible Man—what guy wouldn’t want to be in a room full of women to listen to them talk to try to understand them better.” — Joshua, 31

“I hate it when my date... Can’t hold a conversation or gets sloppy drunk.” — Tanner, 28

“Biggest date fear: The girl tries to eat my food” — Chris, 28


If you could be someone else for just one day, who would it be?

“My dog. I would love to know what goes on in his head and how crazy he thinks I am. Not to mention, he is also the most spoiled dog I know.” — Shawn B, 28


What is your greatest achievement to date?

“For the past six years, I’ve been a volunteer at a week-long summer camp for children with cancer.” — Jared, 26

If you could be someone else for just one day, who would it be?

“Someone from a less privileged area or country. It would be an eye-opening/humbling experience.” — Justin, 28

What is your greatest achievement to date?

“Being able to donate money to my sister’s mission trip this past summer.” — Joe, 28


Corey, 30

Cory, 35

100% Here for Love

What is your greatest achievement to date?

“Inwardly, I’d say it’s the person I’ve become. Externally, I’d say perservering to create a sustainable indie music career that I’m absolutely passionate about.” — Brady, 33


What does being married mean to you?

“FOOOOOOOORRRRRRRREEEEEEEVEEEEEEEER. Team, companion, friend. Mates, support, trust, balanced.” — Kupah, 32

What’s the most romantic present you have ever given?

“I like to build things, it’s more personal. One time I made a clock with a picture in the background.” — Ian, 28


What is the most outrageous thing you’ve ever done?

“I can honestly say I’m working on that part. I’ve only recently started to be more outgoing; I used to be pretty reserved or calculated, and I’m excited to do more things!” — Ben Z, 26

Potential Winners

“Height: 6’4” — Ben H, 26

Disclosure: I left out a couple contestants because BOORRINNG. Please visit ABC’s website to view all the candidates.

Photos via ABC. Contact the author at