[There was a video here]

When Patti LaBelle called branzino a “bourgie fish” last night during her Cooking Channel special, Patti LaBelle’s Place, I damn near fell off my couch. LaBelle seasoned her show’s straightforward setup with offhand humor, hip-hop references (she channeled DMX and LL Cool J), and straight-up wisdom (“You can make [crab cakes] big, or you can make them tiny. And if you have a lot of guests, you better make them tiny, ‘cause everybody don’t deserve all that crab meat.”). Throughout the show Patti made it clear that she will cook for you, but she will also exercise her right to talk about you when you’re not in the room (see: her comments on Whoopi Goldberg’s inability to cook, and her impersonation of Jill Scott while discussing her fellow singer’s aversion to spinach).

I haven’t seen a cooking show this entertaining...ever? This should go to series, and if it does, hopefully we’ll be treated to watching Miss Patti kick at least one guest out of her kitchen.

A few additional highlights:

  • “I think Whoopi’s gonna love the crab cakes, because she’ll see my hands full of crab cake mixture and she’ll know that Patti put her foot and her hands in it, OK?”
  • “These are so good, honey, I could slap myself.”
  • This face:
  • This soothing rendition of “Party Up (Up in Here)”: