Your Guide to the Next Week's TV Premieres

Heading ever further into the high perfervid season mortals call Fall, here's the greatest of the latest stuff you might remember to tell your DVR or aged auntie about, coming up over the next week:

Bojack Horseman (Netflix, now o'click)

So I had no idea that Will Arnett's new plop-the-whole-season-down animated horseperson showbiz comedy was created by Raphael Bob-Waksberg, an alum of Olde English, one of the first sketch comedy groups to really start gearing their stuff towards online distribution and still one of the best sketch groups of the last decade. Their stuff is so buoyant and joyous and inventive that you just want to spit. Even ignoring that it's got Aaron Paul, Amy Sedaris, Alison Brie, and Paul F. Tompkins, it's already a li'l pre-Labor Day Christmas. Go horse! (Full season now available on Netflix.)

SATURDAY

Teenage Fairytale Dropouts (The Hub, 10/9c. in the AM)

You're not gonna watch Teenage Fairytale Dropouts. Stop it, you're not, and you know it. You always talk a big game about getting up at 10 AM on a Saturday to keep up with the latest Mexican-Australian-Irish animated series, and when I come by at noon you're still passed out. I don't care that you're not gonna watch a show where the Tooth Fairy's daughter is named "Fury," I care that you're apparently so out of touch with yourself that you think you might. Get your shit together, revise your résumé, and stop using my fucking coffee grinder to make weed brownies.

Doctor Who (BBC America, 8/7c. to whenever)

It's a brand new season of Doctor Who, featuring a brand new Doctor! Who's this new Doctor? Who could it be? Why, Peter Capaldi is the new Doctor, the oldest actor to take the role—that of The Doctor, who has been portrayed by eleven other actors at least. As the Doctor, whose spacetime exploits never fail to thrill, Capaldi will be joined by Jenna Coleman, a Companion to the Doctor, who is faithful and loyal to the Doctor, who is in turn a good friend to his Companion, the Companion of the Doctor, who, as I've noted, will be played by Peter Capaldi, AKA the Doctor, who is the main character of Doctor Who. Doctor Who? The Doctor is Who. [You are a monster.—Ed.]

Intruders (BBC America, 10/9c. or so; somewhere in all the Doctor stuff)

At 10 PM, we've got the premiere of Intruders on BBC America, and I really can't claim to be able to pitch it even half as good—John Simm, "American"! Mira Sorvino, "acting"!—as an enterprising Wikipedia edit-er with Google Translate and a real talent for obfuscation. Check it [and sic]:

"Jack Whelan is an former LAPD officer who is asked to investigate some strange occurance. He tries to find answers, but runs from one stone wall to another. Baffled by the ongoings, he continues until he starts to concentrate his search around a secret society that, in spite of saying little of what it is, devotes its efforts to chasing immortality by seeking refuge in the bodies of others."

Intruders is notable for bringing the ten thousandth "Jack" to the small screen, and is now the proud owner of a brand new 2014 Nissan Xterra.

SUNDAY

Breathless (PBS, 9/8c.)

At 9 PM, we got Breathless, another period masterpiece* from Masterpiece. This one's set in a hospital in the 60's, the second-best decade for period dramas (1930's are best, of course). Real question: does the gross bullshit nostalgia mill mean we're never going to get the really excellent 90's period drama we know we deserve? About a Pearl Jam roadie touring the world in the age of Clinton? The To-Do List, that Aubrey Plaza sex comedy,was kind of a 90's period movie, but in a weird, self-conscious, shoehorned way, and also it wasn't very good. Hey, on that note, Halt and Catch Fire got renewed. What's up with that, huh? Anyway, Breathless.

*(may not actually be a masterpiece)

TUESDAY

Tosh.0
Get More: Comedy Central

tosh.0 (Comedy Central, 10/9c.)

The 29th season of tosh.0 premieres at 10 PM, concluding last season's devastating "No Way Home" arc that saw Tosh finally returning to his hometown of Chambers' Falls to confront the man claiming to be his long-dead father. Among that arc's casualties were Lefty, Tosh's rebellious childhood playmate and on-and-off lover, who threw herself in front of a sniper's bullet to save him, and his mother Annie, succumbing after a six-season battle with Hodgkin's lymphoma. As tosh.0 fans know, season premieres have a way of shaking things up irreparably, so hang on tight.

Plus, Drunk History stumbles into a new timeslot at 10:30 PM, and that's allllllll she wrote!

[ Images and video via Netflix, The Hub, BBC America, PBS and Comedy Central]

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