Siobhan's schoolgirl pig tails were out-of-control sexy this week, a single ray of sunshine in an otherwise completely grim episode. What a long slog for our favorite clones!

We have come to that level of conflict where everybody is miserable. Not that Orphan Black has ever been all that heavy on the wish fulfillment, but there's no longer a single comfortable place to lay our brains anymore. Whose shitty problems would you rather deal with?

Allison is burying a big old body under her garage while a cop watches her house.

Cosima is dying faster every minute and has to wear nose tubes.

Sarah watched poor Kira get bone marrow removed in the hope it would save Cosima and now her kid has been kidnapped... again.

Helen is knocked up by that bobo Warren Jeffs with a medical degree who's simultaneously using every woman on his compound to 3D print Helena's genes, via womb. In a surprise twist he may have injected fertilized eggs up his butt.

Rachel can literally never leave work as long as she is in her actual body and is getting speeches about how Sarah is the coolest from Dyad top brass. She's also alienated to the point of getting gin-drunk, watching old home movies and cackling madly.

Now she's all set to raise Kira in a pink cubicle/get her ass handed to her by Sarah.

Who has it hardest?

[Images via BBC America]

Morning After is a new home for television discussion online, brought to you by Gawker. Follow @GawkerMA and read more about it here.