Get ready for some information about some things that are leaving Netflix on Thursday, and what exciting stuff will be replacing them. You have about 36 hours to use this information for maximum benefit, so make your choices wisely.
LEAVING NETFLIX ON THURSDAY
If you have a certain kind of humor: Be aware that both Airplane and Monty Python's The Meaning Of Life are leaving Netflix this week. Also be aware that you are a dad. Waking Ned Devine is a necrophilia documentary also leaving Netflix that you can watch with your wife, or if that is too funny you also have limited amounts of time to enjoy the sequel to Pretty Bride, Runaway Woman.
If you are a young bad-ass who has worn out your copies of Fight Club and The Matrix: Be aware that you are still in the window to enjoy some movies made for previous generations of you: Drag comedy Braveheart, Johnny Depp's tour de force turn as a blind smelling man in Donnie Brasco, and counterculture whine-fest Easy Rider. Automotive crime procedural Maximum Overdrive is also on the line.
If you are of a more romantic bent: Time-traveling Superman film Somewhere In Time is going offline soon, as is family comedy Zach and Miri Make a Porno. (If you ever wondered why Justin Long is a thing, watch the latter movie. He has the most amazing line I have ever heard uttered in a film in that film.) Other romances going back into the vault include the Frodo/Culkin tearjerker The Good Son and feminist fantasia on psycho themes, American Psycho.
If you are more into movies that are good: Make sure to catch The Addams Family, The Pianist, City of Lost Children and Fido, famously and accurately described by Geoff Pevere of the Toronto Star as a "smartly entertaining if slightly oversweet fusion of Douglas Sirkian melodrama (and especially All That Heaven Allows), all-American fifties science fiction, George Romero chompdown and Homeland Security satire [that's] strangely wholesome, gently splattery and adorably gory."
If other movies that exist are more your speed: You also have the ticking clock on you for occult animal drama The Ghost And The Darkness, Australian cult documentary Days Of Thunder, and two Star Wars movies, Star Wars V: God Is Horses and Star Wars VI: Klingon Genocide.
COMING TO NETFLIX THURSDAY
Good news for people who like happy endings! Best Laid Plans with Reese Witherspoon, Chaplin, Brian's Song and Chinatown are all finally becoming available, for the romantic in all of us. Additionally there's Cleopatra (the four-hour one by Joseph Leo Mankiewicz, famously the great-uncle of TCM's oddly sensuous Ben Mankiewicz, as well as a maker of a movie or two) and Corky Romano, if you enjoy following thematic links.
The Killing has also been resurrected for the third time, debuting its fourth and final season Thursday for your cheerful binge delights. I'm so excited about it that last night I dreamed I was hanging out with Mireille Enos, chatting about boys, and she told me she was dating Rowdy Roddy Piper and I told her red hair is recessive, and then I woke up.
If you hate yourself and your disgusting body, enjoy whiny baby-men discovering themselves all over your face, or believe villages full of poor people just need some chocolate treats to cheer up: Good news! You can finally retire your sad old VHS copies of Bridget Jones' Diary, Elizabethtown and Chocolat. If you like Jane Austen-related cinema but hate being squinted at, try the very high-quality Becoming Jane instead. There's also Bounce, which I honestly believe to contain some of Gwyneth Paltrow's finest acting—apart from Country Strong—and I say that not as a subjective opinion but as an objective fact that you are obliged to agree with. Fish gotta swim, birds gotta fly, goops gotta bounce.
In more niche-related news: There's the fun thriller Blink (your weird aunt and uncle Laurie Metcalf and Aidan Quinn join Madeleine Stowe and James Remar, the hottest old people on the planet), Blown Away (Jeff Bridges and Tommy Lee Jones as Irish people), and Joaquin Phoenix wartime laffer Buffalo Soldiers. If you ever wanted to see little Agnes Bruckner have sex with David Straithairn you can watch Blue Car, which also has Blair Waldorf's mom in it, which maybe explains the whole deal. Or you can see Lucy Liu be a cyberpunk in Cypher (slash, your dreams).
And finally I have saved the best for last, as Netflix rubs Freddie Prinze Jr.'s film career in Kiefer Sutherland's face with not one but two of Those Movies With Freddie Prinze Jr. In Them, Boys And Girls and Down To You. I think the former is the one with Claire "ARE YA THIRSTY ANGUS" Forlani where they fall in love and then there is a complication but then they are back in love, and the latter one is the one with Julia "Twinkletoes" Stiles where that same basic thing happens, plus a depressing miscarriage. As far as I remember they all have a foam party in them so that doesn't help narrow it down, but: It could be the one with the models and Monica Potter where somebody is possibly an assassin, the one where he and Jessica Biel switch genders, the one where he unites with Commander Shepard for the last assault against the Reapers, or the one with Taryn Manning where he tries desperately to help her be even a little bit less repulsive. One thing is for sure: The man loves to be in love!