Tuesday Night TV's a Country-Music Joke That Takes Three Hours to Tell

Tuesday's all about country music this week, whether you're for or against; we learn about what if you were deaf; various shows your parents like are finally back on; and Comedy Central has another double-header for you.

At 8/7c., over on Nick News there's a special about what if you were deaf—called Now Hear This! What If You Were Deaf?—that one can only assume has its heart in the right place, and on Pretty Little Liars poor drunken Hanna continues to find herself In The Solution, as they say.

Or I guess you could just settle in for three entire hours of ABC's CMA Music Festival: Country's Night To Rock, because surely it wouldn't be three hours long for no reason, especially not in this sad year of the Bro Country explosion ruining all the best stars of yesteryear and no Steve Grand or Sam Hunt to fix it. Well, maybe there will be Nashville stars! Or something. Anything.

At 9/8c. America's Talent continues to be Got, Rizzoli and Isles and Royal Pains are television shows, and in human tragedy news there are fresh episodes of Dance Moms and ID's sophomore series Evil Kin ("Brothers-In-Hate" being a somewhat tortured title for your first outing, but okay), but really it's all about Part II of the Real Housewives NYC Reunion, and the next episode of FYI's thrilling experiment Married At First Sight.

At 10/9c. there's Covert Affairs and Perception, appearing on the various channels they're known to call home, as well as—it's presumed—a little show you may have heard of, but I certainly have not, called Tyrant. I'll be watching Finding Carter on MTV, the better to skip commercials when I settle down for my nightcap of Drunk History (Hollywood legends, this week) and Nathan For You.

[Image of Taylor Swift being amazed by boules de pains via Pacific Coast News]

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