​Tuesday Night TV Takes a Moment to Digest

How is your week going so far? I could use a breather, which is never a good sign on a Tuesday morning. Honestly, there's no better time than the summer to get your feet back under your ass, as my grandmother used to say. I don't know what it means. I mean, I know what it means, it means that even though the summer wants you to have fun and learn a new hobby such as kayaking, you still have to pay the bills. I'm just not sure where the feet come in. It becomes hard to visualize.

At 8/7c. there's a new episode of Pretty Little Liars, which is all you really need in my opinion. BUT if for some reason you are not hip to the sickness then you might enjoy more realistic fare, such as yet more America's Got Talent auditions, or a new episode of Famous In 12. And then too you could always try Riot, which is cancelled I think, and tonight features Chris Kattan and Michael Ian Black. Two people that five years ago had zero things in common, but... Time does some funny stuff, doesn't it. Moving on.

At 9/8c., if you aren't instead watching Real Housewives Of New York City—which is basically at this point the new Real Housewives Of Beverly Hills, which we all remember being for a long time itself the new Real Housewives Of New York City but is now more like the new Real Housewives Of New Jersey—there's also new episodes of Chasing Life and Degrassi on ABC Family and Teen Nick. (If you are the kind of person likely to get excited about a show called Swamp Murders, I trust that you do not need me to alert you to its existence.)

At 10/9c. you've got the Fargo finale and the season premieres of Rizzoli And Isles and Perception, which seems like a heady juggle for a certain kind of person, altogether. There's, uh, an episode of Heroes Of Cosplay on Syfy, which I bring up only because it takes place in Portland, which sounds like a heady gumbo indeed. Cosplay doesn't interest me, Portland doesn't interest me, but Portland cosplayers? Steampunkin' each other up the buttholes? Now you are talking. For sure I would watch that. I would watch unlimited hours of that.

Or, of course, the baby-having episode of USA's much-beloved Playing House. I can't wait to see her have that baby! Oh, the improvised weirdness that will come out of that lady's mouth, I can't wait. So yeah, Pretty Little Liars, Playing House, and a little Ramona Singer up in the middle as a palate cleanser/palate disgustinger. How about you?

[Image via Adult Swim]