What's on the menu for your Wednesday night? Why not order up some discussion of tonight's episode of Top Chef? Our open-thread chat will be served up soon, and it's gluten-free! Unless, that is, you like gluten, in which case ... it's chock full o' gluten!

Here's how it works: Just turn on your TV, watch the show — which airs at 10 Eastern on Bravo (and is also streamed live online) — and post observations about the proceedings in the comments section below this post. The rest of us will be doing the same. And remember, we don't have to limit our conversation to the events that transpire during the episode — we can also discuss tangential topics. In fact, here are three pre-show things I suggest we talk about, just to get tonight's conversation started:

1. Aaron's arrest. According to this report in TMZ, notoriously unlikeable contestant Aaron Grissom was arrested last week for felony domestic violence after allegedly shoving his girlfriend during an argument and injuring her knee. So the question for discussion is: Just how deep does the asshole river run in this guy's character?

2. Richard Blais' terrible metaphors. How many more of them will he make at the judging table this season? Should we take bets? Here are two examples of the pearls of metaphorical wisdom he's imparted to the chefs so far:

  • "If one pitch isn't working in the bullpen, you don't come out on the mound and tell the other team that your curveball's not really tight today."
  • "Gregory, your dish was like a high-speed motorcycle chase in a movie. You're flying down the road and the chicken is almost too salty, and you almost go off the side of the road, and you somehow manage to take that motorcycle and slide it under a moving 18-wheeler and save the day with that sweet banana."

Actually, I'm not sure he'll ever top that last, "sweet banana" simile. But who knows? Maybe he has further, unplumbed metaphorical low points in store this year!

3. Padma's five degrees of stoneration. I'm suggesting these as a conversation topic only because I never got around to posting them before, and they're an important part of the "How Stoned is Padma?" game. They are: 1-slightly buzzed; 2-mildly toasted; 3-pretty high; 4-very stoned; or 5-totally wasted. So commit those to memory, and be ready to post your best numerical guess each time I ask "How stoned is Padma?" in a comment during tonight's episode.

Those should be enough pre-show points to ponder. Here are a few things to watch for during the episode itself, based on what I saw in the promos posted by Bravo:

  • During the Revolutionary War-themed elimination challenge, Padma will talk to some guy about how easy it is to conceal his musket, and he will pretend not to be sexually aroused.
  • Contestant Adam Harvey will share this tip on how to win on Top Chef: "It's simply a matter of getting your food on a plate, and making it better than the person you're up against." I think he may be on to something here. This guy could go far this season!
  • Tonight's guest judge is James Beard Award-winning chef Jamie Bissonnette, who is fond of posing for photographs while holding pig carcasses and severed pig heads.

OK, time to get this this gluten-free and/or glutenous gabfest going. I'll see you in the comments!

[Image via Bravo]