And then every so often, America's Got Talent stops being a misnomer. Meet Adrian Romoff, who has the body of a nine-year-old and the prodigious piano talents of a who knows what?

Howard Stern and Howie Mandel are mystified by his talents, Scary Spice I don't understand when she talks but she seems very into it, and Heidi Klum has dealt with artsy bastards twice as precocious and half as talented as this cute little guy. It isn't that he's unrealistic about his options, or his abilities, it's more that he is not unrealistic about those things, which is disconcerting in anybody but especially weirdos.

I don't know what Adrian Romoff does all day, but I do know that he will be going to college when he is eleven, just like Doogie Howser or a particularly scarring episode of Highway To Heaven. And while I think it might be tough to spend more than a week with him, between the unnecessary corrections and general unblinking weirdness, I can definitely see following this kid for at least the rest of 2014.

[Clip via NBC]