Comedy Central's roast of Justin Bieber finally aired Monday night, featuring Kevin Hart, Hannibal Buress, Martha Stewart, Shaq, Will Ferrell as Ron Burgundy, and some monkey that wasn't really the one Bieber abandoned in Germany in 2013. All were there to fuel the narrative that if we just burn Justin badly enough, he'll rise from the ashes as an adult instead of a millionaire baby that commits petty crimes, and Scooter Braun surely thanks them for their service.
On the other hand, it was probably cathartic and totally worth it for the opportunity to go bare-knuckle on the Bieb, like Hannibal Buress, who sincerely does not like Bieber or his music.
Or like Natasha Leggero, who posited that Bieber learned his dance moves in the womb while dodging a coathanger abortion, and that fucking him would be a fate worse than death:
SNL's Pete Davidson even took a shot at Bieber's dad, Jeremy. Which is appropriate, because Jeremy is an older, chunkier, bro-ier Bieber with even worse tattoos, and once threw a dog off a balcony. He's actually much more deserving of an experience Justin described as "getting his dick kicked in" than Justin himself.
The surprise hit of the night, though, was Martha Stewart, who showed up to change people's lives for the better, and certainly succeeded:
It feels like she may have gotten someone else to write her jokes, and that's a Good Thing.