Even without seeing the film, it feels safe to declare that Lifetime's controversial biopic on the life of fallen star Aaliyah Dana Haughton, Aaliyah: The Princess of R&B, will be abysmal.

All of the makings of a laughably forgettable viewing experience, one to be remembered mostly for the memes and gifs it produced, are present. It's as if the universe tried like hell to ensure this film never saw the light of day, but a petty thing like reason never stopped any other ill-advised film from being made, and so here we are.

This film has been shrouded in controversy from the start. Aaliyah's family has opposed its production and release at every turn, denying the rights to Aaliyah's original music. Zendaya Coleman, the first actress chosen to play Aaliyah, left the project early on, citing a lack of production value and music. Nickelodeon star Alexandra Shipp quickly stepped into the role, but that news did little to boost expectations for the film. Here's why:

1. Lifetime is involved. This is the network that brought us Lindsay Lohan in Liz and Dick, whether we wanted it or not. Becoming the Beyoncé of painful biopics is no easy feat, but, dammit, they've done it. See: The Unauthorized Saved By The Bell Story. And Gina Gershon in House of Versace. And The Brittany Murphy Story.

2. The trailer features the music of Iggy Azalea. There is no more effective way to brace viewers for an onslaught of mediocrity than with the nuisance from Down Under. Surely, something insulting this way comes.

3. Aaliyah's music is not included in the film due to Lifetime's inability to license her catalog. Shipp performs all of the music in the film, which means we can expect second-rate recreations of Missy and Timbaland's signature sound and underwhelming performances aplenty. For example.

4. Aaliyah being a child bride at 15 to famous pedophile R. Kelly, then 27, will be romanticized. Daytime talk show host Wendy Williams, one of the film's producers, claims their love story was handled "tastefully":

"The family is not happy that the movie is being done but we did it so tastefully, I think the family would be proud," Williams told the hosts of The View. "We're not throwing anybody under the bus, but we are telling a story."

Translation: That whole statutory rape part will be portrayed as puppy love. R. Kelly met Aaliyah soon after she signed her first record deal at 12. He would later produce her creepily titled debut, Age Ain't Nothin But A Number. Kelly was already known to like young girls and, after dodging/settling dozens of abuse claims, would later go on to beat child pornography charges. Perhaps showing R. Kelly as a master manipulator who likes them underage and impressionable wouldn't mesh with the "offend no one" approach to this film.

5. Bizarrely, Missy and Timbaland can now pass the Brown Paper Bag Test. And they're not thicksnacks. Did they even try here? Look. Missy used to represent hard for the dancing ass sisters with thigh thighs and chocolatey skin. She celebrated, rapped and sang about being curvy and luscious and wonderful. Any true telling of Aaliyah's life story can't gloss over the influence of Missy and Timbaland in her career. So, such far-fetched casting with these two tells me that they probably won't play a big part in this story.

If nothing else, Aaliyah: Princess of R&B will be a saccharine, Disneyfied tribute to a rising star that perished before realizing her full potential. I expect flashy dance sequences, zero nuance, and enough generic "hip hop gear" for five lifetimes. Viewers seeking a fresh look into Aaliyah's private life will have to write that tale themselves, because by all accounts, this isn't that.

Alexander Hardy is a writer and cultural critic who opines about the world and the disappointing people in it. Morning After is a new home for television discussion online, brought to you by Gawker. Follow @GawkerMA and read more about it here.