"Can you guys not be morons for one day?!" The one question that could be asked every episode of The League and one that could just as easily be answered with: "Not if we even tried." So if you thought any of these characters would get less reprehensible between seasons, you just might be the new Andre.
While the So You Think You Can Dance finale was teaching everyone that hard work, determination, and pureness of heart would get you far in life, The League season premiere chose instead to remind everyone that being god awful human beings gets you… Well, it gets you a big honking trophy and ultimate bragging rights. While it may not your typical life lesson, it does, in fact, count as a life lesson.
Plus: No other show (and hopefully no actual human) would hold a fantasy football draft at a funeral, and for that, The League kind of deserves those bragging rights.
"Kevin is the new Andre."
Now that Kevin is the Sacko "champion" and Jenny has finally taken her rightful place as the Shiva Bowl winner, the patriarch of the MacArthur clan is now the butt of everyone of the group's joke. He is now the new Andre, because real Andre has real self-confidence now (everything just rolls off him like Teflon, for he is "Teflandre"). Even Taco has no problem telling his brother off, since Kevin is after all the reason why "everyone thinks that MacArthurs are idiots." Stupid Sacko.
Because Taco is Taco, his idea of unwinding "after a long eight hour work week" involves hitting a few golf balls up, down, and all around. Not on any actual golf courses, mind you, but in outdoor seating for restaurants and random patches of grass in downtown Los Ange... er... Chicago. (Which is where they are, of course.) The League always tries its hardest to enter the pop cultural lexicon by any means necessary, and this might actually be the one that finally breaks the seal, if it hasn't already swept the fraternity nation. Although, "vaginal hubris" really should have crossed the rubicon all those years ago.
Jordan Cameron or Cameron Jordan
Ruxin deserves all the shame in the world for not knowing the difference between the two. One is white, the other is black. One is offense, the other is defense. One is my future boyfriend, and the other is probably an OK guy too. These are just facts any sports fan worth their salt should know. With Ruxin now accidentally being in 12 leagues—which should really make him the new Andre—he's clearly no longer at the top of his game and will be a longshot to win the Shiva this year.
But his inability to realize which one is which is a slap in the face to anyone who looks like Jordan Cameron, football player or not.
Teflandre: The One Man Flash Mob
While the So You Think You Can Dance finale also gave us the world's first good flash mob last night, The League gave us something else to cherish forever. A one man flash mob (a flash mugger?), which would never work if not for the way that Paul Scheer commits to it. Boy does he commit. I don't think I've ever danced as hard or as purposefully as Paul Scheer does in this moment. These few seconds are some of the most beautifully awkward and awkwardly beautiful limb movements any show has ever given the world.
"You know what's amazing, is some people would find this disrespectful." - Ruxin
[Images via FXX]