[There was a video here]

Meet Chanel, a 19-year-old "freelance model, actress," and wrestling ring girl who lives in California and is so obsessed with staying young that she agreed to be profiled in MTV's True Life: I'm Obsessed with Staying Young. Chanel has "eaten a baby's placenta" and undergoes hours of beauty treatments a day to keep her supple young skin looking that way. A particularly intricate, especially harebrained stay-young-quick scheme involved bathing in pig blood like people did "thousands of years ago and...it worked." MTV's cameras captured her adventure.

Chanel's foil was her grandmother Lois, who called bullshit on Chanel throughout the episode. She asked for "documentation" regarding the history of pig-blood therapy. "That blood is not clean! Suppose you have a scratch. If you get a disease that an animal has, you gonna puzzle your doctor!" argued Lois. Then when Chanel called Lois into the bathroom during the long blood bath sequence (see above) and labeled Lois's willingness to help cover her with pig blood as "real love," Lois retorted, "Thank you for defining it for me." More like True Life: I Have a Smart Grandmother Who's Funny as Fuck.

The entire episode is online. I recommend it heartily so that you can get to know Chanel better and also meet the episode's other subject, Marcus, a 25-year-old who turns tricks to pay for Botox and also appears in a porn video to preserve his youth for all eternity via the internet.

Nowhere in these episode do either of these people talk about eating blueberries, drinking water, or exercising to stay young. Young people are such fools.