I play along with the charade/That doesn’t seem to be a reason to change/I feel so dirty when they start talking clues/Wanna tell them I’m a detective but I just get the blues/‘Cause she’s solving it with those eyes/Investigating with that brain, I just know it/I’m the true detective/And I wish that I had Jessie’s girl!
Before Colin Farrell was the True Detective (or is he?), he was a teenage suspect in an attempted murder. During a fun little game of truth-or-truth with TV clown Jimmy Fallon and True Detective costar Vince Vaughn last night, Farrell broke out the time police thought he tried to burn a man to death.
Sometimes your worst self...is your best self. We get the world the deserve. This girl’s gone missing, and nobody cares. Eat my knife, wood. This is True Detective Season 2, and clues are piling up, the tension is mounting, and the detectives are getting truer. Are you ready? Are you? Ready?
Courtesy of HBO, here's your first glimpse of True Detective Season 2, a forthcoming television event based on a popular Twitter meme. True Detective's first iteration kept devoted fans guessing at the identity of the true detective until the final episode—and we can only guess the show's extremely likable creator will repeat that winning strategy the second time around. Who will be the true detective in True Detective Season 2?
In the new season of American Horror Story, Freak Show, by far the scariest thing is the swamp-dwelling monster with a half-mask face, Twisty the Clown. He stabs with scissors, does mean little dances, and he keeps prisoners in his scary school bus. But clowns in the real world have fucking had enough of that.
We have finally seen the signs that our exit is coming up on our trip down the long, winding road that is the casting of season two of HBO's True Detective, a television show about white people talking to each other in ponderous soliloquies. HBO has confirmed that Colin Farrell and Vince Vaughn will star in the second season of Nic Pizzolatto's anthology crime drama, playing two of three police officers tracking "a career criminal" that forces them to "navigate a web of conspiracy in the aftermath of a murder."
Nic Pizzolatto, the screenwriting auteur behind the bayou noir HBO critical hit True Detective, is described on half of the covers of the new issue of The Hollywood Reporter as a "New Disrupter" (the other nudist ruptor is Jenji Kohan of Orange Is the New Black). He reveals himself, unsurprisingly, as a schmuck:
The rumor mill built over True Detective second season's swift-flowing mystery river has ground out more twists than there even were in that craaaaazy first season (there were not actually that many twists in the first season!). One week this A-list star's pretty much confirmed, the next, nothing is true because truth is a fairy tale spit from the cracked lips of a dying God. So, with all these scraps of evidence(!!!) strewn about like Carcosan devil nets, Morning After's got an opportunity for you: You be the true detective! Separate fact from fiction in this (vaguely) informative not-really-a-quiz and find out what you could easily Google!
Rectify is about a man who is freed from death row after 19 years because his conviction has been vacated. Rectify is about sin, the South, and families who, like groups of stone, weather and drift with time. Rectify, returning for its second season last night, is also the worst recent example of "slow TV," a subgenre that includes The Walking Dead, True Detective, and the middle episodes of every season of Game of Thrones (the ones with too much movement and machinery).
The only false step of an otherwise tastefully sparkly evening, at the Critics' Choice Awards, was when Matthew McConaughey lectured a room full of television actors on why it's no disgrace to act on television.