Fox's new faux-reality competition I Wanna Marry "Harry" is unwatchable not so much because of its "problematic," think-piece inspiring misogyny in an era of #YesAllWomen, but mostly because it's fucking boring.
Gang Related could be the best show in the world, and that wouldn't change the fact that the lack of hyphen in the title is the most infuriating thing in the entire world. Followed by hyperbole. People insult titles like Don't Trust the B— in Apartment 23 (R.I.P.) and Trophy Wife (R.I.P.) and Terriers (R.I.P.), but at least those titles didn't remove a hyphen for no discernible reason. Also, those shows were much better than Gang Related. Let's rap about that, shall we?
The problem with a reputation (good or bad) is that it's dependent on the human short-term memory. Like, you could have saved my entire family from a fire five years ago, but if I saw you defecate on the hood of a Jetta last week, guess what I'll immediately think of every time I see you? Sure, because of you little Tommy is alive and well and getting straight-As at San Diego State University, but meanwhile I can't even look at soft-serve without thinking of you and frowning. That is your reputation now, sorry.
Today marks the end of a delirious old-timey End Of The World party for advertisers and the swiftly dying ratings system on which they base their careers, called the upfronts, which is an industry term meaning "making TV stars act like carnies in front of suits that don't care because they are drunk." Here's a short rundown of the major nets' fall schedules—the downlow on the upfronts, if you will—for us to chat about: