Last night's Grey Anatomy saw Callie and Arizona airing their many, many, many grievances in couple's therapy, where their cup o' marital problems finally runneth all the way over.
Calzona's long-simmering marital strife was the focus this week. Like all worthy primetime couples, their issues have issues. The latest issue: Callie feels Arizona is hesitant about wanting a baby. Each considers herself the most selfless human ever, and we know that neither feels any qualms about whipping those Acts of Selflessness out like a Draw Four card in UNO. That's just what they did in therapy.
After multiple sessions yield no results other than a series of low blows, the therapist suggests a break wherein they co-parent but don't hump (anyone) and only speak in case of emergencies, while sleeping in rooms mere feet away from one another. That's not weird at all. Callie is against it from the start. But that twinkle in Arizona's eye? That's hope. Is this her way out? They agree to a 30-day "split." Six weeks of turmoil and flip-flopping ensue. Relationship status: It's complicated.
Elsewhere, Callie finds some much needed confidence and drunken inspiration after a drunken outing with Meredith. Tequila brings clarity, naturally.
Arizona is still finding her footing in her new fetal surgery fellowship, while still micromanaging Karev's work in pediatric surgery. She second-guessed herself in her first time up to bat in the operating room with the frigid Dr. Herman (Geena Davis), and the ass-kissing Graham graciously swooped in to save the day.
Dr. Herman's "I thought you were special" speech to Arizona was uncomfortably similar to the "Imagine my surprise when I discovered you were mediocre" speech that a furious Ellis Grey spat at Meredith season ago. Both would make a thin-skinned surgeon want to crawl into a hazmat bin and die. Ouch.
The day their split is set to end, Arizona is rejuvenated, crazy in love with Callie all over again. There are tears. Just when we think we are rounding the corner to a tidy ending, Callie admits that she has laughed, accomplished, and loved herself more during this break than she has in ages. She finally feels free, dammit, and wants Arizona to experience the same.
In the episode's final moments, Callie hits the EJECT button, delivering the night's best lines and an aha moment that Iyanla would kill to capture on film:
"Constantly trying to fix us is the thing that's been killing me slowly. And I don't wanna do it anymore. I don't want to fix it or fix us anymore. Maybe instead of loving you so hard, I should be myself for awhile. I should love me. And you should love you."
And she gathered her shit and walked off into the sunset. Social media collectively orgasmed as Calzona dissolved, again. Why are viewers so thrilled to see the end of this gay marriage that has helped soften cold, bigoted hearts? Perhaps it can be summed up by the therapist's assessment when Callie revels in Arizona's apparent jealousy: "It's unhealthy."
No union—certainly not one born in the Shondaland writing room—is perfect. In the rocky years since Arizona returned from Africa for Callie, they've become experts at The Blame Game. Too often, they rehash of all the many valiant things they've done for each other, with next to nothing being done for themselves.
Now that Callie has chosen Callie, perhaps some happiness is on the horizon for the pair, as well as exasperated viewers.
Prediction: An empty on-call bed is no match for a rocky marriage. At the very least, an impromptu quickie cometh.