“I stand here, I am Reverend—ordained, yes Lord—Reverend Derek Anthony Terry, and I am a black gay man who ministers,” is how Rev. Derek Terry came out to many of his relatives, friends, and members of his congregation earlier this year. It’s also how he told the world when his coming-out sermon aired last weekend on OWN’s self-help series Iyanla Fix My Life, as the climax of Rev. Terry’s three-episode arc.
FX premiered the fifth installment of Ryan Murphy’s American Horror Story franchise, Hotel, last night. As is generally the case this early in the season, what exactly the fuck is going on is as yet unclear. What is clear is it takes place at Los Angeles’s Hotel Cortez, Wes Bentley and his generous eyebrows have been perfectly cast to brood, and Lady Gaga is in it. She’s really the centerpiece of the whole thing, and much of the pre-season promo has centered on her (she was, for example, the first guest on Tuesday’s episode of The Tonight Show Starring Jimmy Fallon).
In the wake of yet another mass shooting at a U.S. school, it’s time for America to have one of its all-too-infrequent conversations about mental health. On Last Week Tonight, John Oliver looked into what we’re actually doing to help people with mental illness, and learned it’s pretty much nothing except prison. Great. Good start.
Jimmy Kimmel’s bread-and-butter segment, Lie Witness News, is at its best during presidential campaigns, when there are lots of “serious” “issues” to discuss and no shortage of people who are uninformed about them. Kimmel sent his crew out to Hollywood Boulevard again this week and discovered that Donald Trump’s new pseudo-populist tax plan has a lot of support amongst Hillary-leaning, anti-Trump voters.
On today’s episode of The View, Raven-Symoné, a woman who does not necessarily identify as gay per se, but who does identify (per today’s episode) as “a part of the gay and transgender community,” asked the hopeless presidential hopeful Rick Santorum, “Why can we not have equal marriage rights?” Rick Santorum opened his mouth and unleashed the funk of 40,000 years in response.
Imagine it’s 2004 and you just finished filming Fat Albert with Bill Cosby. Now imagine Bill Cosby calls you over, pulls you in close. He’s going to tell you something important, wow, you’ve always wanted a celebrity mentor and now you have one. Can you believe it? Here it is, here’s the advice: “When this movie comes out you’re going to need two dicks because the women are going to be all over.” Ooookay.
This scene from last night’s Scream Queens, in which someone in a plastic red devil mascot costume kills another character in an ice-cream cone mascot costume by cutting off his cream head with a chainsaw while Wham!’s “I’m Your Man” plays, is so perfectly absurd as self-contained imagery that I won’t bother to explain it further. What a wonderful world.
Farrah Abraham acquired her celebrity status (such as it is) in the most American way possible: she progressed from Teen Mom reality show to Backdoor Teen Mom unreality sex tape. So her role as the American Bad Guy on the latest season of the U.K.’s Celebrity Big Brother, which she left earlier this month in a flurry of verbal and physical violence, was a natural one for her. Love her or hate her, she played it perfectly.
“Sometimes I feel like I’m going to die alone with 13 cats and a room full of shoes,” said RJ, a 23-year-old resident of Salt Lake City who is “obsessed with the look, taste, smell, and feel of men’s sneakers.” His extreme frustration with finding a suitable mate was chronicled in last night’s True Life: My Fetish Is Ruining My Life. There were also multiple scenes of sneaker play, which is not something you see on TV everyday (or ever for that matter). Progress.
With hundreds of thousands of migrants headed to Europe from Syria and Iraq, reactions have ranged from reluctant acceptance (Germany) to outright, vicious racism (Slovakia, Poland, Fox News). As ever, John Oliver used Last Week Tonight to put a human face on the latest shitty, depressing thing people are doing to one another, and the face of the refugee crisis is a cool Syrian teen named Noujain Mustaffa.
When Patti LaBelle called branzino a “bourgie fish” last night during her Cooking Channel special, Patti LaBelle’s Place, I damn near fell off my couch. LaBelle seasoned her show’s straightforward setup with offhand humor, hip-hop references (she channeled DMX and LL Cool J), and straight-up wisdom (“You can make [crab cakes] big, or you can make them tiny. And if you have a lot of guests, you better make them tiny, ‘cause everybody don’t deserve all that crab meat.”). Throughout the show Patti made it clear that she will cook for you, but she will also exercise her right to talk about you when you’re not in the room (see: her comments on Whoopi Goldberg’s inability to cook, and her impersonation of Jill Scott while discussing her fellow singer’s aversion to spinach).
Within the first 10 minutes of last night’s Empire Season 2 premiere, Cookie donned a gorilla suit to protest mass incarceration at a #FreeLucious rally that seemed like a send-up of Black Lives Matter...
South Park delivered its highly anticipated episode addressing the Donald Trump “candidacy” for the “Republican” presidential nomination last night, and it was everything you thought it would be. Especially: violent.
Once, many years ago, there was a recurring television show sketch and subsequent feature film called Good Burger starring SNL’s Kenan Thompson and a guy named Kel Mitchel, who you may remember from his turn as a luggage porter in the Kanye West All Falls Down music video.
Stephen Colbert and Donald Trump have both enjoyed successful careers playing exaggerated parodies of conservatives, so it makes sense that when they met on the Late Show Tuesday, this was the challenge: Who said it? Trump or Colbert?
Ryan Murphy’s latest series, Scream Queens, premiered last night on Fox and the most shocking thing about the horror-comedy series is how good it was. The acting of the large ensemble was on point almost across the board—if Emma Roberts, the principal character and president of the Kappa Kappa Tau sorority the show focuses on, can keep up the pace, she’s headed for a tour de force. The script at times seemed like more of a worthy heir to Heathers than virtually anything that’s come in its wake attempting to recreate its magic—it’s that funny, that idiosyncratic, that nasty.
“What if we did a shot right at the end, so you could see the entirety?” Kanye West suggested to a cameraman on last night’s Keeping Up With the Kardashians during a scene shot at an Armenian art school. And then, to a workshop leader, he explained: “They’re shooting my wife’s show and I keep on, like, asking them to shoot it like it’s Stanley Kubrick.” The resulting shot doesn’t quite achieve the one-point perspective Kanye was going for...