Orange Is The New Black: Season 2, Episode 4

Where were you when you learned about your urethra, ladies? How many holes did you think you had? I remember an 8th grade conversation that happened the row behind mine in Biology that hypothesized there were a total of 7 holes in the average female groin. For those of you still wondering, OITNB and Sophia Burset helpfully cleared this up with an illustrated poster.

"A Whole Other Hole" was a chilling look at when an inmate's past is far more troubled than you imagine. With her extensive driving privileges, Lorna always seemed to have her shit more or less together. With the first part of her backstory revealing she'd committed some credit card fraud, we thought we had a handle on what she was in for. We finally saw her much-talked-about fiancé Christopher, in a flashback meet cute right out of a rom com.

And then things got very dark and heavy when Lorna drove to Christopher's house and broke in without a second's hesitation. She wandered around the house, weeping over pictures of his new fiancée—who could easily match a police description of Lorna herself—and their invitations and wedding floor plan. She pulled out the veil and creepy crawled over to the bathroom, things getting darker by the second as she shed her clothes and drew herself a bubble bath, veil-on. Was this building to a suicide? Surely she wouldn't be able to get back to the hospital to pick up Miss Rose in time. The SUSPENSE.

BUT GUESS WHAT turns out Christopher had never even been her fiancé. They went out one time and then she harassed him and tried to kill his girlfriend. She wasn't in for credit card fraud, she was in the pen for going Fatal Attraction-style nuts on a guy she barely knew. The creepiest! Lorna is legit Loony Tunes! And now with her fingerprints all over his house and her butt prints all over his tub, surely she's going to wind up in a whole new mess of trouble.

But perhaps the darkest turn a character took was Piper attempting to convince Brook to have sex with Boo, so Boo would give Piper her blanket back. I honestly got chills, it was such a selfish, manipulative thing to do. Piper might just be a horrible person, period.

Is Piper a horrible person?

What wacky myths did you once believe about the vagina?

[Images via Netflix]

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