Nic Pizzolatto Is a Schmuck and True Detective Will Suck Next Season

Nic Pizzolatto, the screenwriting auteur behind the bayou noir HBO critical hit True Detective, is described on half of the covers of the new issue of The Hollywood Reporter as a "New Disrupter" (the other nudist ruptor is Jenji Kohan of Orange Is the New Black). He reveals himself, unsurprisingly, as a schmuck:

[T]he first season, he argues, was conceived as a close point-of-view show, wholly told through the eyes and experiences of the two male characters. "You can either accept that about the show or not, but it's not a phony excuse," he says, unable to hide his frustration. He adds that he consulted his friend Callie Khouri on the matter: "When Callie, who wrote Thelma & Louise, thinks that that's stupid criticism, I'm inclined to take her opinion over someone with a Wi-Fi connection."

I suggest—I highly suggest—you imagine Nic Pizzolatto dropping this bit of real talk from atop a (broken?) motorcycle, as he appears on the magazine's cover, or perhaps from inside the cab of this (his?) truck, lips pursed, one hand stretched out toward you and one on the wheel, or perhaps yelling it from inside this starkly lit abandoned insane asylum:

Nic Pizzolatto does not do himself any favors in the THR photoshoot, no. But that he casts himself as a brooding, tortured masculine artist should not be particularly surprising to anyone who watched the first season of True Detective, in which brooding, tortured, masculine detectives say things like "We became too self-aware. Nature created an aspect of nature separate from itself. We are creatures that should not exist by natural law."

So on the occasion of Pizzolatto's cover story let's all remind ourselves: True Detective's first season was great despite those lines, not because of them. The show managed to get away with blatant dormroomism thanks to Woody Harrelson and Matthew McConaughey, and the evocative direction of Cary Fukunaga, who gave the show its beautifully "rich, cinematic look." Rust Cohle's third-hand Nietzsche SparkNotes would probably have sounded as irritating as they read if they'd come from the mouth of an actor half as capable, or been spoken outside the context of the show's soft and graceful cinematography.

Given that, we should all be very worried that neither the leads nor Fukunaga are coming back for season two, which isn't set in Louisiana but rather in L.A. Pizzolatto's leather-jacket philosophizing spoken by...Vince Vaughn and Colin Farrell? In Los Angeles? A show about two brooding, masculine detectives in Los Angeles. Talk about disruption.