This odd mix of Chuck, Head of the Class, Little Man Tate and every basic bitch of a procedural thriller airs Mondays at 9/8c. on CBS, starting tonight.

How can Katharine McPhee, a lowly waitress, teach the super-nerds to understand human being-ness and come in turn to understand her super-genius son, all while helping them save the world? (Better question: Are we really all just leaning into the Katharine McPhee thing? Nobody's gonna say anything? I do like her, I guess we just like her now? That's cool.)

Apparently this is based on a true story, about a bunch of super-genius outcasts recruited out of the gray-hat world and into the very NSA. I liked a lot of the explosions but the by-the-book nature of the setup is a little out of the ol' wheelhouse. I wonder if the development process didn't go more like, "We need an Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. but without the comic-book nonsense, and all of the hacky paint-by-numbers procedural element of the other three basic shows that are constantly on our network. Is NCIS:S.H.I.E.L.D. too many letters?"

Logline: Being weird smart has its privileges, such as hacking the NSA and going to jail forever. But what if the NSA sent Robert Patrick, recently seen ruining every bit of True Blood he could get his hands on, out to recruit them? They'd be a wild and wooly bunch to control, that's for sure.

Bottom Line: The fascination of regular people with highly intelligent people will never make sense to me. Smart people are the pits! But I get that shows about them, in our modern era, do really well. Expect a foofaraw from the nerds of the world about how unrealistic every aspect of it is, about how #notallnerds regardless of what these nerds do or say or act like, because the #1 things nerds like to talk about is: Nerds, nerd stuff, how oppressed nerds are by everything.

Watch This Show! If you are tired of watching Sneakers, if you enjoy waitresses in works of fiction, and if you want to piss off your dorkiest friends. Or if you enjoy CBS alphabet franchises, about which I am not going to say boo because I have never actually seen one, so what do I know.

Absolutely Do Not Watch This Show! If you have any other options. I'll eat my words if this turns out to be even as out-of-the-box as The Blacklist—which is not really that far outside the box at all, but is at least awesome—but I sincerely doubt that it will. Even the ads are hard pressed to do better than "nerd joke nerd joke quip explosion," and that's what it's going to be.

Here's how CBS does hackers, just a quick reminder for ya:

So yeah. If you can handle that, you should probably be recruited to the fucking NSA or something because you have nerves of steel.

Parents Television Council Says: "At a Paley Center panel, series executive producer Nick Santora stated that his goal was to provide a 'funcedural'..."

Shut the fuck up, "funcedural." How dare you.

Scorpion airs Mondays on CBS at 9/8c., starting tonight. Do not watch it.

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