In The Odyssey, Odysseus is condemned to a decade of wandering the Aegean by the implacable wrath of the sea god Poseidon. Even after his safe return to Ithaca and the reclamation of his home and throne, he must sojourn yet further inland until the oar he bears is mistook for a winnowing fan, and there will he make his sacrificial peace with the tempestuous deity of the depths. So, too, did nautical executor Nathan Fielder last night punish some goofball dickhead for his deceitful bullshit, as the high seas pounded on.
The dickhead in question is Jonathan, a liar and unrepentant line-cutter. He cried "doctor's appointment" to take advantage of Nathan's magnanimous system for sending hurried customers to the front of the line for Pink's famous pretty good hot dogs, only to skip out to a movie after his meal (probably Think Like A Man Too; this guy's garbage!!). Like the sea, Nathan's rage was boundless, salty, and capable of pranks. So Jonathan got a call informing him that he was Pink's 10 millionth customer, and inviting him to a marina to collect his lobster lunch for one at sea, and the trap was sprung.
Nathan Fielder's sporadic but hardline moralism goes hand in hand with his love of teaching (and learning) valuable lessons, and so he confronts Jonathan with those he wronged, including a just marvelous lady in a blue polo who puts her resting bitch face and emphatic hands to brutal use. For his part, Nathan, in his mercy infinite as there are fish to be caught, abstains from the swift oceanic execution he'd originally planned (see figure below).
Instead, he offers Jonathan a second chance to be a cool guy, alongside a totally normal stick of gum from a regular pack. See this face? This is the face of contrition, a sinner who's felt Hell's aquatic tongue lapping at his heel, a boy as he confronts his childishness that he may become at last a man.
While Jonathan may insist that Nathan is weird and conniving and manipulative (he's not, by the way, he's very normal and regular), his commitment to business excellence, boats, and the inherent goodness of all people stands as exemplar to us all, like some kind of small business aqua-Christ. Sail on, noble soul.
[Images and video via Comedy Central]
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