Tonight we've got a woman looking for love who will not find it on television, a blended family gripped by drama of their own making, teenagers who do not quite turn into wolves except around their faces and fingernail areas, and Idris Elba driving automobiles around for the purpose of delighting us all.
At 8/7c. it's an early start for a full three hours of The Bachelorette, the aims and purpose of which in ten seasons have never been made entirely clear to me. Over on the CW there's the two-hour Young Hollywood Awards, which ditto. Masterchef's up to Top 12, and Switched At Birth goes Abstract Neo-Geo with a reference to Willard's "It Isn't What You Think."
Meanwhile, Zac Efron joins the premiere of a show called Running Wild With Bear Grylls that seems to be about having no shirt on, but in nature. Here is an excellent Australian report, and here are some Daily Mail pictures that are, of course, captioned most incredibly. Zac Efron seems like a good sport, especially about taking his shirt off, and I think I saw Bear Grylls drink some pee one time. This concludes my ready information about the two pleasant, often nude men who will be "running wild" tonight in some fashion or another.
At 9/8c. HBO is airing a special about a couple who neglected their child to death to play videogames, which I don't know about you but that sounds like a downer to me. On the other end of the debate is an episode of Killer Kids, in which kids kill. I have seen this show recently for the first time, and I really enjoy it. It's empowering, in a certain way! Plus, the little dead girl who narrates it has a very evocative voice. I would like for her to do an audiobook of Rich Dad, Poor Dad.
American Ninja Warrior heads to Miami, Food Network premieres Food Fest Nation—presumably a show about a country in a constant state of food-related frenzy, and how best to obtain a visa—and Hotel Hell visits the Monticello. In real life, though, it's all about the never-ending calamity and fallout of The Fosters and/or the Real Housewives of Orange County (is it just me or has this season been going for like five years?) plus those twins from New Jersey on Watch What Happens: Live.
At 10/9c. BBC America continues its coverage of Idris Elba driving around in cars, Longmire continues to be about whatever that show is about, Under The Dome continues to take place under a mysterious dome, and LMN's uplifting story of true romance, I Dated A Psycho, continues to be about psychos and the psychos that date them. Teens in the know, however, will be glued to their sets for Teen Wolf and Wolf Watch, where Derek and Stiles are most likely just going to fuck and get it over with, since the bullying of obnoxious shippers always works so well on television professionals.