​Monday Night Television Knows What the Deal Is

Tonight on TV there are domes and things under them, Teen Wolf is back, there's a new Boondocks, and The Fosters continues to be just the best.

At 8/7c. your choices are a brand-new Antiques Roadshow, another episode of The Bachelorette or Masterchef, and the newest Switched At Birth. Otherwise, you might as well turn to VH1 and watch an episode of Love & Hip Hop Atlanta called "Three Way, No Way," which I would suggest will contain a lot of conversations about threesomes but then ultimately the twist will be that there are not any threesomes in it. I'm just going by the title, though.

9/8c. brings us new episodes of American Ninja Warrior (Denver qualifiers), Killer Kids, and the best show in America, The Fosters, on ABC Family. Here's hoping that tonight's episode will put the gangster shenanigans to bed and get back to the real draw of the show: Pretty ladies holding hands and adopting as many children as they possibly can, in an ever-increasing upward spiral of adoptions arcing toward an infinity in which they have literally become the parents of everyone on earth, including me and you. Including Mary Todd Lincoln, and Copernicus, and everyone who died in Pompeii. "But it's right there in our name!" the Fosters will say. "Foster!" And we will have to admit they're right about that, at least.

At 10/9c. Bravo brings us those lovable Ladies of London, there are new episodes of Longmire and the similarly themed Mistresses, and a recap episode explaining what it turned out to actually be under the dome on Under The Dome, a show that is about a dome and what goes on under it. But none of that matters in the slightest because TEEN WOLF! IS! BACK!

At 10:30/11:30c., anyone who is anyone will still be watching Teen Wolf. But there will also be recording on the DVR a new Boondocks, and maybe even Ceelo Green's reality show (on TBS!) about what it is like to be a giant baby with the face of a man. For some reason it cracks me up that his show is on TBS, because what are they even doing anymore? "After an all-new Cougar Town and 47 episodes of My Name Is Earl, we are going to show Happy Feet three times in a row, but then after that please tune in to watch Ceelo Green and what that is like."

What about you? Are you into Teen Wolf? You want to talk about Teen Wolf right now? I am up for discussing Teen Wolf at literally any time. I don't understand what happens on that show but I sure do love trying to puzzle out what is happening on that show. "Who is that guy?" I often ask my friend Karen that I watch it with. "Is he the main guy of the show? I think he is so neat! But sometimes, I just can't place him. Now, is this his mom? Or somebody he goes to school with? Oh, it's not even a mom, it's a dirtbike! Or a jaguar? Yeah, that's a jaguar. Who are these guys now, where did they come from and why are their faces like that? Where's everybody's clothes?" I am not fun to watch it with but I promise I am fun to talk about it with.

[Image of currently clothed laxbros via MTV]