Does anybody really like New Year's Eve? Don't you always feel a little oppositional, like that goddamn baby is up in the sky making you pretend you are partying your brain out of your head, but really tomorrow is just another day? I feel the same way about Friday—does anybody really like Friday night, after about 8? By about 11 on a Friday I'm making the kind of terrible choices I used to reserve for like, 4 a.m. Anyway, Saturday is when science says you can have the most fun with the least amount of stern effort. But before you do that, we suggest a disco nap and some rando TV to set the mood.

At 8/7c. there's not much on, though, besides a Lifetime movie called Return To Zero (Hmm?) starring Scandal's Paul Adelstein and Minnie Driver having lots of baby problems and then somebody probably gets murdered by the person they least expect. But along with those two similar-looking folks, you also get the worthwhile presence of Alfred Molina, Connie Nielsen, and Kathy Baker (<—murderer).

At 9. there's Iyanla Fix My Life: My 600-Pound Secret, which I mention only because how is that a secret? How do you keep that secret? How do we fix it, because that sounds like some bullshit to deal with. Plus the usual, Sex Sent Me To The ER and Orphan Black. And then at 10, How (Not) To Kill Your Husband, the gay zombie politics of In The Flesh, and this hilariously, quite vaguely described episode of House Hunters Renovation:

A Couple And Their Dogs Need More Space So They Buy And Renovate A Home

Then at 11:30 it's the SNL Finale, starring a triumphant returning Andy Samberg and the ethereal beauty and occasionally excellent music of St. Vincent. One thing I really hope happens is for Andy to beat a joke so thoroughly into the ground that it becomes performance art, like an eight-year-old who doesn't understand the difference between good attention and bad attention. I really hope that happens at least once!

How about you? Consider this an open thread to talk about whatever you're watching. Check for a subthread before starting one, just to keep it tight, if you would.

[Image via NBC]

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