Everyone on So You Think You Can Dance (even super stoned Bieber) is really good at what they do (what Bieber "does" is get super stoned), and it's equal parts enviable and awesome.
We're nearing the end of the auditions, which means… Well, it no longer means Vegas week, so I actually have no idea what it means, outside of super talented people being super talented. But while So You Think You Can Dance does a lot of things well (that's the appeal!), childish humor is not one of them. There's a reason the joke auditions have never really landed with the show.
So when Johnny Waacks returns to show off his "waacking" style and everyone reverts to their 12-year-old selves, it's the longest however many minutes (it could have been 20 minutes, it seemed that long) ever. In Mary and Nigel's defense, it's actually Christina Applegate (still riding that post-Up All Night high, as far as I'm concerned) who begins the gigglefest that ensues over all things waacking. It's because of masturbation, you see.
Still, Johnny Waacks' routine is engaging, if nothing else:
When he revealed that he hadn't done any other type of dance and really only focused on perfecting his waacking (ha ha he he ha ha ho...penis things), the warning alarms of "oh no, oh no, oh no" went off immediately, especially when he got sent to choreography.
But not only did Johnny not quit—he got sent through to callbacks. The chances of Waacks being put through to the Top 20 with such a limited style, and as the polar opposite of the type of male Nigel likes seeing on the show, are not too high but the judges are 100 percent correct when they call him a performer through and through.
Surprisingly, the childish behavior doesn't come out when a literal CHILD auditions for the show. There are so many questions that arise from this entire J-4 situation. Like, who does this child belong to? How was he allowed to audition in the first place, even if it was for shits and giggles? Why isn't he in the Bieber's Best Dance Crew slot? Do you have answers to any of these questions?
And as adorable as that was, talk about inorganic. Last week's Cyrus and Fik-Shun segments at least appeared to be on the fly. This was just… Who is responsible for this child?
Also, is anyone else in love with Amir Sanders, the #FunkyBallerina? (More like the #PunkRockBallerina, get it together, Fox.) Come on guys, they played "Rebirth of Slick" during her introduction and she danced to "***Flawless." That's a dealmaker, ladies and gentlemen.
P.S. Was this lady Amir's mother?
She had to be, right? Either way: That's the correct response to Amir being sent to choreography, ma'am.
Also, Malene Ostergaard and Armen Way were just plain sexy, but we should only talk about that in hushed tones because of said sexiness. They were on the hot tamale train to Sexville, Population: Babes.
Like, that is the type of routine I imagine having with Fabrice Calmel on his home planet. Only without the abusive relationship and partner dropping past. There was actually so much good ballroom this time around you would have sworn we were in Utah. (We were not.)
As usual, we'll talk about the rest of the numbers (and Bieber's Best Dance Crew) in the comments. Surely we could talk about Timothy Joseph's… aggressive routine for hours, as well as which sob stories were the sobbiest and which ones could have stood to include a routine with a voicemail from a dead parent.