Last Week Tonight is on break this week, but John Oliver still made a video to address the crisis that will strike all of us just two short days from now: April Fools' Day, that holiday beloved of monsters and sociopaths only, is on its way.

Doing his part to resist the yearly tsunami of garbage pranks, Oliver asked his fans to pledge not to participate in April Fools' Day, and not to let their idiot friends participate, either.

Unfortunately, this will not be enough, because the internet is still full of amoral monsters who will lie to you anyway. And worse, it's increasingly full of #brands. Corporations are not people, my friend, but marketers are—and marketers think this shit is so cute. They've been planning their pranks for weeks.

Probably just don't bother getting out of bed Wednesday. It's safer that way.

[h/t Last Week Tonight]