A Guide to ​Memorial Day Weekend TV Highlights

Long weekends can be something of a hurry-up-and-wait deal, so if you're not engaged in a binge-watch, you still might find yourself with some downtime between parties, barbecues, and pulling out all of your white shoes and belts for the purposes of fashion. If that turns out to be the case, here are some of things you may find yourself watching during pre-game:

For SATURDAY, at 9/8c. you've got Orphan Black or, if that is too intense for you, Sex Sent Me To The ER. At 9:45 new Spongebob Squarepants episodes if that's the kind of person you are, with some more airing at basically random times throughout the weekend. Then at 10/9c. you can learn about made-up Secret Service secrets on America's Book Of [Mostly Made-Up] Secrets, an episode of How (Not) To Kill Your Husband that has pigs in the episode title, so fingers crossed there that somebody will be "(not)" fed to pigs, and the third episode of In The Flesh's second season, which if you are not watching it, I do not at all blame you? But you are missing the hell out, that show is fantastic.

And then on SUNDAY it's all about The Normal Heart (HBO, 8/7c.) and the Mad Men finale (AMC, 10/9c.) while Game Of Thrones takes some time to think about what it's done before the finale next week. Showtime continues apace with the always uplifting, never-depressing Nurse Jackie/Californication "comedy" block, followed by those weirdos on Penny Dreadful. (What will happen to Victor Frankenstein?! I have been so worried about him this week.) And if you don't have cable or somebody's streaming password, which you do but let's just say for the sake of argument that you don't, you can either enjoy Cards/Reds on ESPN (My guess is: Baseball?), or HGTV's Mega Dens at 8/7c., which is another HGTV one that regularly kills it in the episode titles:

An Outdated Living Room Gets New Life And A Sunporch Moves Inside To Become The Not-Porch Mega Den

That shit makes me way too happy. What are you going to do this weekend? Are you going to watch something even more interesting than Mega Dens? You should probably tell us about it. (Also: Don't forget to check out our Binge-Watch Guide for the long weekend, and for God's sake remember to hydrate.)

[Exciting Hannibal Image via NBC]