Start Your Week Off Right With Some Monday Night TV Programming

Quite a weekend! There was a lot of television and not a lot of time to watch it. I surprised myself by making sure to catch up on Penny Dreadful first thing, and then surprised myself doubly by deciding that was a good call. Other than that it was just the Stark girls, mostly. You think they're gonna zig, they zag.

At 8/7c. tonight we've got another episode of The Bachelorette, a PBS special about "food remedies," which I'm guessing is for tricks and lifehacks like grandma used to do, but I suppose could also be medications for food that is feeling particularly nonchalant or under the weather.

At 9/8c. American Ninja Warrior visits Dallas, a well-known ninja territory of legend; investigative procedural documentary Beauty And The Beast is back on the CW, and The Real Housewives of Orange County claims to feature at least one choking. Fingers crossed that it's Jeana Keough, roaming from house to house in night vision goggles like a ghastly ghoulish Bam Margera, choking the shit out of everybody, but sadly it has to do with relocating Vicki's daughter to Anywhere That Is Not Vicki, OK.

At 10/9c. Mistresses returns to ABC, Louie finishes up the "Elevator" series and moves on to "Pamela," which should be even more of a bittersweet downer, Longmire's third season premieres on A&E, as well as a new Bravo show that doesn't feature "housewives" in the title but is about crazy old broads, this time in LONDON.

So it's like, reality TV is one level of weird. And then Real Housewives are automatically twice that weird. And then add British people and it's like, pretty sure they called it Ladies Of London on purpose, because LOL is exactly what you are going to do. So either it's going to be a collection of facsimiles of every British chick from every Housewives show, including the witch one and the one from DC, which would be fine with me, or—like every other Bravo show without "housewives" in the title—you will never hear about it again.

(And then at 11/10c., Sundance's Writer's Room is doing Pretty Little Liars, which is either a sentence than makes little sense to you, or quite possibly the most interesting fact you have ever heard, but I know exactly where I stand.)

[Image of just your average casual, fun night out via Bravo]