Hillary Clinton Visits The Colbert Report by Random Coincidence

Everywoman Hillary Rodham Clinton stopped by Colbert Report last night, just casually like you would drop in on a friend you hadn't seen for a while, to shoot the shit and act normal.

Sometimes you can have a buddy and that buddy can happen to be the sole source for news and opinion of an entire demographic. What are you gonna do? "No thanks. I don't need the stoned hipster Millennials to remember this face in exactly two years, three months and three days. I'll just hit you up later on." What a rude thing that would be, to do to a friend!

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While for most of us, Hillary holds the alluring and terrifying glamour of that one friend's mom who you were never sure if she liked you or if she thought you were a cheese-stealing bad influence, such as Rayanne Graff or Huckleberry Finn, for Stephen Colbert it's just another appearance in a long line of agenda-free, unpaid advertising for the American way of life.

Sometimes you stop by to mutually Gwyneth all over a pal's face. Sometimes you think, "It's been so long since I've talked to my good friend Arsenio Hall. And you know what, maybe I'll just bring my sax. You never know when you're gonna feel like a nice smooth jam sesh."

The laid back, totally chill pair discussed such matters as her book, which is currently on sale for money, her husband who is a celebrity you may have heard of named Bill, and her many decades of ceaselessly fighting to force continued life into the bodies of our downtrodden, ungrateful poor through whatever black Communist magicks her coven of advisors can think of next.

While the current ceasefire in Gaza was not up for discussion, there was a long conversation to be had about things that actually matter: Horses, ducks, and curious admixtures of the two—an unnamed duck/horse hybrid related to what was known in olden times and to wizards as the hippalectryon, a legendary protector of warships Aeschylus memorably described once as the "fire-colored horse-chanticleer" decorating a Myrmidon vessel.

Although on the subject of Putin's horrific rise to despotism Clinton remained mum, at one point the former Secretary of State did blank her own face right out, with a snap of her fingers, and was immediately subjected to the trials of the Malleus Maleficarum. (Another book, but not one which is currently in print.) All in all, a fun, not at all meaningful, indicative-of-nothing, not-at-all obligatory drop-by, for which the former Senator from New York is becoming quite famous of late.

[Image and video via Comedy Central; h/t to Alan Hanson for all hippalectryon lore]

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