How was your Memorial Day Weekend? Exhausting? Sometimes it can be a little exhausting to have fun, that's okay. Some girls are bigger than others, and some girls want to party all the time; some girls' mothers are bigger than other girls' mothers, and nevertheless also want to party all the time. I partied like a mother, and now I am still talking like Lindsay Lohan's mother. Let's do this, okay?

At 8/7c. tonight, there are two episodes of Secret Lives Of Stepford Wives, including the finale, which is entitled "Milkshake Murder," because that show is amazing. Bad Girls Club tonight is entitled "A Change For The Bad!" which is moderately droll, and there's also the two-hour premiere of America's Got Talent, a show that is the opposite of itself.

At 9/8c. the inexorable march toward the charivari and public bedding of a verified virgin continues on 19 Kids & Counting, I Wanna Marry "Harry" continues to be several mean jokes about several sad things at once, Sonja's poodle gets a Viking funeral on Real Housewives Of NY—while unpaid "interns" continue to roam her tumbledown estate unfed and without clear purpose, existentially bereft—and Little Women: LA premieres on Lifetime, Television For Women (Some Of Whom Are Littler Than Others).

At 10/9c. you've got regular episodes of Awkward. and Faking It on MTV, Fargo on FX, the Playing House and Amy Schumer comedy combo on USA and then Comedy Central which is what I will be enjoying, and then some premieres: Wil Wheaton Project on Syfy, if you are immune to flesh-crawling awkwardness; The Night Shift if you are interested in what happens to hospitals at night; and on ID there's the incredibly titled Sinister Ministers: Collared: Sacrament Of Evil. If ever there were a time for a horror-doc reality show purely about evil clergy I think 2014 is probably that time. We got a chill Pope and Cosmos on the TV so pretty much we're doing okay in this country.

What are you planning on watching tonight? Who are your favorite Sinister Ministers? I liked the one from the Poltergeist movies, he had a real soothing singing voice. If you had a pack of unpaid interns hiding around your house for no reason, what would you have them do and/or how would you get them out of your house? How do you think a person would most likely get murdered by a milkshake, how do you see that going down exactly?

[Image via Lifetime]