Tuesday night was the sex episode of FYI's Married At First Sight, and I know what you're thinking: "Aren't they all the sex episode?" Yeah, totally, but this one was called "Intimacy" and headed up by the show's sexologist, Dr. Logan Levkoff.
Dr. Levkoff brought two things to the table this episode: GLAMOUR via a series of gowns straight out of Kim Kardashian: Hollywood and the "fishbowl exercise", seen above, where the newlyweds pulled direct, probing questions out of a bowl and (theoretically) answered them.
Jamie and Doug are the one couple whose marriage remains unconsummated, and it became clear in the clip above that Jamie wasn't ready to even talk about the nasty with her husband. If Spinderella taught us anything, it's that we should talk about sex: all the good things and the bad things that may be, but Jamie couldn't even get notionally intimate with Doug.
Granted, they haven't had sex yet, so she might not want to sit there and describe experiences with another dude. You kind of want to establish a strong, personal sexual bond with someone new before swapping war stories all, "This one time, behind the Home Depot..."
Still, the watercolor wash of existential horror that bloomed across Jamie's face when she got the question "What's the most unusual thing you've been asked to do in bed?" led me to believe she's either:
a) Done some seriously maniacal shit between the sheets that would put our freakiest fantasies to shame and for which outstanding warrants exist, or,
b) Kept everything so 100% vanilla in her erotic past to the point where her only answer could be "Kept my socks on?"
Luckily Doug was ready to step in with a low-to-no-freakiness back-clawing story in which he came off as both erotically experienced and considerate of other people's backs, a delightful combination.
You might remember from the premiere that Jamie had the knee-jerk response of "FUCK NO!" when she and Doug met at the altar. Now she finds him, in her words "Cute! With a great body" and says she could see herself spending the rest of her life with him (which, granted, in reality TV speak means "he's pretty cool"). Unfortunately Doug's family has been left with the impression that Jamie wants nothing to do with them; an impression she's been reinforcing with some thoughtless offhand comments.
It is 100% valid that Jamie wants to fall in love with Doug before they have sex, however alongside the distance she's putting between herself and Doug's family, it does suggest she already knows they're not going to stay married and is just here for the camera time.
This series is building up to a season finale decision between staying married and getting a divorce, and sometimes it seems like Jamie's purposefully stating for the record they have NOT consummated the relationship so that when the show is over, and they've split, and she has to explain to her next serious boyfriend about "that time she got married on TV" she can be like: "But we totally never did it. Watch the season. I have proof."
[ Videos via FYI]
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