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For the sake of continuity, The Real Housewives of New Jersey finale did include Dina's Project Ladybug fundraiser and shenanigans therein. But Bravo knows that we're all just in this to see the Giudices go to jail, and so we were treated to real-time reactions to their sentencing.
The Gorgas, of course, are notably absent from this clip, as is Dina Manzo. In Dina's case I like to believe it's because she has a modicum of integrity and/or was busy acquiring more fucked-up pets for her collection.
And Melissa probably knew that Joe Gorga would start punching himself in the head or something when the word went down, and so wisely opted out.
As for Twin-Teresa, I think we got reaction enough from her in this interview, where she drops a very sympathetic, "Karma's a bitch, really. Clink clink!"
[There was a video here]
Of course the person who is most upset about the sentencing—possibly even more upset than the Giudices themselves—is Jacqueline. Given her reaction, is it any wonder that Teresa didn't want her to be in the courtroom? Or to talk to her at all? The entire purpose of bringing Jacqueline back this season was apparently to have her sob and read texts aloud to the camera. You sent Teresa texts! She didn't respond! We got it! Maybe Jacqueline will have a better response rate if she volunteers to be Teresa's prison pen pal?
I also found it odd that with all the debate about whether Jacqueline should reach out to Teresa, there was no move on the part of the Wakiles or Rosie to send any kind of message. Maybe Kathy will just send a tray of cannolis to the big house, and that will be enough? It is worth noting that on the special two-part Watch What Happens Live with the Giudices, Teresa did acknowledge that she got a text from Jacqueline, then said that she didn't read it.
Six months before her sentencing, of course, Teresa had to deal with the fallout from that time Victoria Gotti told her that Rino boned his mother-in-law. And really, with Teresa going to jail for over a year and Juicy being sent away for three and a half years and facing subsequent deportation, this shit literally could not seem any stupider. I mean, it seems even MORE stupid than it would otherwise seem. Which is pretty stupid to begin with!
Teresa apparently agrees, because when the twins confront her at the party AND call her stupid, she gets only the mildest bit heated before eventually agreeing that from this point forward she won't even WHISPER rumors about anyone banging anyone's mom. To her credit, even though Twin-Teresa would barely let her get a word in, Teresa did eventually stutter out the fact that Rino was allegedly the one who started the rumor in the first place. We still never got any direct confirmation or denial about that—maybe they're waiting for the reunion? In any case, eventually the two Teresas hugged it out.
And then everyone could bask in the fabulous glow that was Milania's runway debut, fueled by a rather intense amount of candy.
Given that Jim opted not to attend the fundraiser, there was little other drama and/or bitchery. Amber did have a talk with Rino, who seemed to harbor no ill will toward her for Jim's behavior in Florida (in which he blurted out the bit about mother-fuckery and also said some particularly nasty things to Twin-Teresa). He does, however, want Amber to understand that Jim's a dick. This is a thing that Amber understands, and also seems to mostly enjoy, so there you go.
And in case you were worried that we were cheated of one final bitchy flameout from Jim, we still have a three-part reunion to go. And if previews are any indication, Jim will not go gentle into that good night.
And also speaking of Amber, she got a haircut. As is everything with Amber, it is related to The Cancer. She hasn't had a cut since she had chemo and lost her hair, and now that she's reached the five year mark she's donating it for wigs for children with cancer. I wonder if she can get back that chunk of hair that Twin-Teresa and Nicole tore from her head and add it to the pile?
Jim and Amber also spent some quality time debating whether or not going to jail for fifteen months is better or worse than having The Cancer. Amber votes yes, Jim votes no, the rest of the world votes SHUT UP.
Next up: We get TWO episodes of secrets revealed—like, do you have secrets beyond 39 counts of federal fraud?—and then the three part reunion.