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Lifetime's new series The Sisterhood follows five young women through their period of "discernment," a 6-week trial period where they decide if becoming a nun in 2014 is for them.

Above 27-year-old Christie from Glendale explains how she received her call, and I have a lot of questions about what and who she saw. Like, let's get specific, let's get a police sketch artist involved, because I have a feeling that Our Lord and Savior as Christie pictures him might just be Ryan Gosling with extensions, or Joe Manganiello in a loin cloth and huarache sandals.

Christie is not the only candidate for nun-ship that was thinking of the Son of Man in distressingly sexualized ways: another girl set up a framed illustration in her room of "handsome surfer dude Jesus" to remind her that if she gives up worldly relationships "I'm also getting this really gorgeous awesome man." A family member shared that another girl, Joliet, had explained that Jesus had proposed to her, and what could she tell him but yes.

Maybe the term "Bride of Christ," which was thrown around like so much confetti, is the problem? It seems deceptively glamorous. Perhaps "Spinster of Christ" or "Personal Assistant of Christ" would be more accurate.

Don't get me wrong, I love a nun, but I think most nuns would agree with me that Christie's kind of fantasy ideation doesn't represent a spiritual calling to a lifetime of celibacy. Quite the opposite, in fact.

[Videos via Lifetime]

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