As E! reports, Jerry Bruckheimer's developing a six-hour "event series" based on Carrie Underwood's song "Two Black Cadillacs" and with Underwood's involvement. Written by Ildy Modrovich (Necessary Roughness, CSI: Miami, Californication), the story will track six hours' worth of two ladies, the wife and the mistress, who team up to kill the man they have in common. After that, the plan seems unclear, but as they say: When you go looking for revenge, always dig two graves and bring two Cadillacs.
In the song's music video above, directed by PR Brown, the two black Cadillacs are metonymic stand-ins for the two ladies, their widows' weeds, and their private parts; the Cadillacs in the video are also alive, like the famous haunted car named Christine. It was too scary to watch the whole thing, but the impression it gives is that two ladies kill a guy, and then cars come alive.
In 2006's teen classic John Tucker Must Die, Ashanti teams up with Sophia Bush and Brittany Snow in similar fashion, but the death is a metaphorical one because they are just kids. No cars are alive in that one. Just John Tucker, played by the vigorous Jesse Metcalfe, whom no woman has yet been able to tame.
In Bruckheimer's critically lauded CBS series The Good Wife, the eponymous cuckquean takes no revenge on her faithless husband, because that is not her way. Instead, she reenters the workforce and becomes more and more amazing over time.
Even if you are a fan of many of Carrie Underwood's songs, you may not enjoy this particular song, because it—a platinum record from her 2012 album Blown Away—is not actually very good. It is a musically flat retread of "Before He Cheats," which also involved cars and damage to cars, but only had one heroine in it. In the great video for that song, Carrie Underwood is magic, chock full of both zingers and telekinesis.
(By using mathematics, we have thus been able to deduce that—given that the video for "Before He Cheats" is based on Carrie, and "Two Black Cadillacs" takes elements from Christine, the next time Carrie Underwood sings about being cheated on, the video will include imagery from Stephen King's 1992 novel Dolores Claiborne. Mark our words.)
However enjoyable you find the song, video, or forthcoming miniseries on Fox, it at least has a nice message of ladies sticking together in the face of adversity, not blaming the other girl, and also cooperating for the common good. It cannot just be about bitches fighting all the time! Sometimes—maybe all the time—it should be about committing murder alongside them.